


well make your mind up, make your little mind up

by kolbietheninja



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Gay Panic, M/M, Meteorstuck, No Incest, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Podfic Welcome, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23046130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kolbietheninja/pseuds/kolbietheninja
Summary: TT: Sexcapades did not occur upon your awakening. What did happen, pray tell?...TG: he didnt even care he just put his fucking hand on my shoulder like it was all natural weve done this a thousand times before nothing to see hereTG: daves conked out on my strut poles let me rest my prongs on him like were an old married couple and gestures of affection like this are old hat no sweat dave definitely wont feel overwhelmed when he wakes up everythingll be coolTG: boy was he wrong
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Minor Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam - Relationship, Rose Lalonde & Dave Strider
Comments: 9
Kudos: 60





	well make your mind up, make your little mind up

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from "Tightrope" by WALK THE MOON.
> 
> This covers the aftermath of that cuddling on the couch scene, which has already been done to death, but fuck it, I wanted to try my hand at it too.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

TG: rose i think i fucked up

TG: like astronomically

TG: like you know that meme where theres two astronauts on the moon and the one guy kills the other with a rock and the caption is like how fucked up would that be

TG: i fucked up more than that

TG: and considering thats a guy who spent literal months training with his astronaut buddy

TG: they probably roomed together and ate together and won nasas annual three legged race and no one was surprised because they were attached at the hip best friends forever hey dude i know out of all the people i know i can be totally sure that you wont murder me bro thats how close we are bro

TG: like i bet that guy completely trusted his partner not to fuck his shit up because come on he got killed with a rock on a planet with a low gravity he must have been completely turned around had his back to the guy no idea what was about to happen absolutely no clue all stupidly trusting

TG: all this while wearing a suit that one would assume would protect him from murder by a space rock but apparently not he was wrong on that front im not sure hes the best judge of character rose hes two for two on this one i cant really defend him here

TG: shit it protects him from the atmosphere but not literal murder i guess

TG: not even nasa thought this guy was gonna kill this other dude like it wasnt even a blip on the radar no one suspected 

TG: damn maybe it wasnt his fault maybe this guy was just really good at hiding his true nature or maybe something changed once they got there

TG: i bet they were the best of bros while on earth but all bets were off on the moon man broness dont extend past the atmosphere apparently sorry i dont make the rules although since this is a separate planet and were the only people here technically i make all the rules and no ones making me do this but here we are

TG: but anyway dude got killed with a rock and thats not a quick kill thats not just one and done that murder must have been agonizing and slow

TG: well at least until his suit was compromised and he was exposed to the deadly air and probably exploded like a poptart when you forget to take it out of its wrapper when you pop it in the microwave

TG: aw thats gross now i wont be able to look at a poptart the same way ever again thats probably even more fucked up than this horrific scenario where a guy gets bludgeoned and then exploded to death by his best friend on an entirely different planet where no one can hear him scream

TG: i fucked up even more than all that btw if you were paying attention

TT: What could possibly be more fucked up than such a tragically humorous scenario, Dave?

TT: I eagerly await the no doubt thrilling conclusion to one of your most impressive tangents to date.

TG: im not gonna comment on the fact that you find any of that humorous because i know the lalonde brand™ wont allow for anything else even in these trying times

TT: Your prudence is noted and appreciated.

TG: so im just gonna skip to the thrilling conclusion give you the deets satisfy that curiosity raring up within you like the motorcycle of a newbie biker whos only just been accepted to the gang and is way too eager to prove his metal and get that sweet biker street cred

TG: but its obvious to everyone but him that hes just a middle aged blue collar worker who works a shitty nine to five and wants desperately to have one last shot at something cool to tell his perpetually unimpressed teenaged kids before they go off to college and never speak to him again

TG: he only got in because hes the leaders brother and their moms dying words were for them to look after each other

TG: mom this is for you he thinks with a single tear in his eye as he watches his loser of a sibling rev his bike like its a fucking beyblade

TG: meanwhile his bro thinks hes finally made it finally joined the big leagues probably thinks his mom would be proud not realizing hes the extra no one wanted 

TG: like when the baby sister wants to play with her tween siss friends at the slumber party and has a grand old time while the older girls sigh and roll their eyes and passive aggressively ask was it really necessary to invite her and it ends up being real shitty for the older sibling like now shes for sure excluded from the clique a straight up social pariah the next day no onell even let her sit next to them at lunch shes gotta eat with the janitor

TG: its the same with the gang except instead of tween girls and their insular middle school friend groups its a bunch of hardened old men who begin questioning the authority of a leader whod let his dumbass kid brother join their insular manly men group

TG: they were right to question too turns out the first time the newbie rides the bike he loses control careens off into a ditch breaks his neck and dies instantly

TG: in following his mothers wishes his brother is indirectly responsible for his admittedly comical death

TG: if only he had disregarded mommas well-intentioned words and told his brother he had no way of knowing it was the middle of his life so how could it be a midlife crisis go home to your wife and kids jesus christ

TG: maybe junior would still be alive and sucking the joy out of everything to this day

TG: if you were wondering yes this is another metaphor for how badly i fucked up you praised me before now ill never stop look at the demon youve unleashed

TT: Ah, irony. I plead for you to cease your endless side tangents, you refuse. I praise you for them, you still won't shut up.

TT: Now I find that I'm no longer interested in the "sweet deets" as it were because I know that, more than anything, would get under your skin.

TT: By all means, continue to dance around the issue.

TG: you cant pull that reverse psychology crap on me i know youre dying to know i bet youve already got your pen and paper out fingers itching to write down every bullshit diagnosis you somehow manage to wring from my completely normal and not at all freudian dialogue

TG: lips pinched eyebrows furrowed eyes squinting knees weak moms spaghetti

TG: well guess what i wont add to your sadistic joy in picking apart my psyche today no sir i wont even tell you how i fucked up so bad ill just leave you to stew in your frustration until you inevitably come crawling back and beg for the precious info youre pretending to turn your nose up at

TG: kneeling in front of me like orphan annie all please sir can i have some more of that super interesting story you were trying to tell me that one time

TT: As you already brought it up, I'll graciously disregard the sexual connotations of that last bit of delightful wordplay.

TG: thank you i dont really want to go down that rabbit hole again today

TT: It's no trouble.

TT: But as you don't seem to be in any genuine distress, I think I'll take my leave.

TT: Contrary to what you might believe, I don't actually sit at my computer all day salivating for the moment your chumhandle blinks online. As wild as the idea may seem, I do manage to find ways to spend my time when not cascaded with nigh endless paragraphs of your usual drivel.

TG: wait

TG: dont go yet this is actually serious

TG: i do need your help

TG: i just

TG: i dont know how to talk about it

TT: David Elizabeth Strider, at a loss for words? This must be serious.

TG: you realize my name is dave e strider right like thats the whole thing my middle name is just the letter e it definitely does not stand for fucking elizabeth

TG: bro thought it would be fucking hilarious to leave it one letter keep people guessing keep up the strider mystique but its not even a good ice breaker its just a dumb name thats not even a name

TG: and i fucking refuse to be called david do i look like i file taxes to you pick up my kids from soccer practice they dont even call me dad its just david did you pick up the fruit gushers no i didnt sweetie theyre bad for you but here i cut up fresh fruit for you and your brother she huffs and slaps it out of my hand you suck david she says then screams until i give in and stop to buy her the stupid fucking gushers

TG: is that the kind of life you want for me rose

TT: Might this have something to do with Karkat?

TG: damn rose going straight for the jugular no foreplay just fucking one two punch

TG: why do you think it involves him

TT: Perhaps because you spend more time with him than anyone else on this meteor?

TT: Or perhaps it is that I witnessed our prickly mutual friend growling and stomping around in a manner even more dramatic and angry than his usual tantrums.

TT: That you haven't mentioned him once when usually you spend at least half our conversations rambling about him was also worthy of note. Need I go on?

TG: nah i think were good

TG: although youre throwing out numbers that i dont think you can back up sure i talk about the dude hes pretty much the only person i hang out with like you said not much else to talk about

TG: but whatever youre not completely wrong about what youre implying

TG: and i use implying very loosely btw shit lacks subtlety but thats okay we cant all be master wordsmiths you tried and thats all that matters heres a shitty gold star for your efforts

TT: Thank you. I'll frame it and hang it on the wall next to all the fucks I give.

TT: What is it that I'm implying exactly? Do tell.

TG: cmon rose you know exactly what im talking about i can see your unbridled glee from here smug joy just wafting off of you like an old ladys way too strong perfume im literally choking on the fumes hacking up mucus eyes watering unable to even call for help

TG: but whoops the old ladys already gone off to terrorize another grocery store full of unsuspecting bystanders only the putrid cloying scent of her overpriced lavender breeze and the medical bill from the hospital i was sent to after coughing up a lung left to remember her by

TG: anyway youre not the only one thats got a hankering for alien d apparently must be genetic maybe all strider lalondes see gray candy corn horned vaguely humanoid space aliens and go yeah i wanna tap that

TG: we come in peace they say i want a piece of you we reply smooth as butter then immediately get mauled because they take it seriously and think weve just declared our intentions to fucking eat them or something

TG: thats probably an official declaration of intent to duel on their shitty death planet i wouldnt put it past them ive heard weirder shit

TT: I had my suspicions, but I didn't know for sure. What surprises me is that you're admitting it at all. Normally the mere mention of your less than straight inclinations would send you skittering like a startled cat.

TT: I have even employed the use of a simile to properly convey the depth of my shock.

TG: please ive always been one hundred percent comfortable with my sexuality im surprised youre surprised how did you not pick up on this you're supposed to be the expert your lesbian wiles really failed you this time

TT: Indeed.

TT: So I'm assuming something of a romantic nature occurred and therein lie your spectacular fuck up?

TT: If you'll recall, this conversation had a point that we have skirted invariably for the past thirty minutes.

TT: Your evasion of any specifics makes sense considering that aforementioned not at all shocking revelation, but this endless prevarication does grow tiresome.

TG: fine ill get to the point

TG: so karkat and i had our usual movie night right its pretty much the only thing we can do on this fucking rock just rewatch the same bunch of shitty romcoms over and over and the few ironically good movies i fortunately had saved on my laptop before i got yeeted off the planet

TG: not that karkat appreciates my good taste but thats fine whatever not everyone can dig the irony thing takes a certain kind of sentient being to really get it and no offense but karkats not one of em

TG: hes way too sincere and emotional but hey thats what i like about him you do you buddy someones gotta be real on this meteor because it sure aint me or you rose

TG: the mayor is genuine as hell but hes awesome too above all us mere mortals and immortals thats obvious though just assume everything i say excludes the mayor by default hes on a whole other untouchable level

TT: Of course.

TG: cool so anyway we were watching some fucking dane cook movie i dont remember which one a fact for which im glad because the incident was scarring enough dont need bad acting to add any spice it was explosive enough on its own

TG: and okay the reason i probably dont remember is because i fell asleep like ten minutes in but you gotta understand rose it was boring as fuck okay and i didnt sleep well the night before

TT: And presumably you felt safe around Karkat, your bro-est of bros. Enough so to fall into his waiting arms.

TG: no

TG: i mean youre right i felt safe dudes about as threatening as a bitey toddler before his teeth grow in but i did not swoon into his fucking tender embrace all damsel in distress style

TG: i just fell asleep sitting up gravity did its thing and bam i wake up with my head on his strangely warm thigh

TG: seriously it was like a fucking heating pad no wonder i didnt wake up once i fell on him dudes a damn heated blanket fucking foul play i was doomed from the start

TT: Tell me more about how you were doomed to sleep with Karkat from the start.

TT: I have my trusty and much lauded notepad primed and ready.

TG: gross no i dont want to hear about your sexcapades with your hot alien girlfriend you dont get to be privy to mine thats like our one rule in this family we overshare everything but thats crossing the line as you constantly remind me

TG: whos stumbling on freudian slips now sis

TT: I apologize if I offended your delicate sensibilities. If it's any consolation, dear brother, my interest lies only in the intricately tangled web that lies behind those ironic shades of yours and not in any of your hypothetical sexual encounters with one Karkat Vantas.

TG: hypothetical how do you know its hypothetical

TG: you didnt even know i was out and proud how do you know i havent already popped my cherry huh maybe youre not the only one engaging in the cross cultural tango you ever think of that

TT: Dave, you are currently regaling me with what I can only hope is nearly the end of a story wherein you apparently freaked the fuck out after falling asleep on your would be paramore. Forgive me if I have a hard time believing you've popped any cherries.

TG: okay you got me there this exquisite piece of strider meat is still pure as karkats belief in romance as virtuous as the day i was cloned as untouched as that weird glowy apple juice we alchemized that i refuse to try but equally refuse to get rid of

TG: your kid brother can still be traded off in marriage you could get like six pigs and a goat in the exchange thats how valuable and wholesome i am

TT: And yet the more you elucidate on your alleged purity, the more this crawling sensation over my skin worsens.

TT: Sexcapades did not occur upon your awakening. What did happen, pray tell?

TG: well i didnt move right away it was super comfy okay see my earlier description of the warmth i was ensconced in

TG: and because i didnt move i noticed karkats hand was on my shoulder

TG: like not only did he let me fall asleep during a movie he picked when usually hed have yelled my ears off about my breach of movie watching etiquette and wasting his time etc etc

TG: but he saw that i was asleep let me lay my weary head on his warm soft thigh and didnt think wow what a rude fuck invading my personal space like this and push me off

TG: he didnt even care he just put his fucking hand on my shoulder like it was all natural weve done this a thousand times before nothing to see here

TG: daves conked out on my strut poles let me rest my prongs on him like were an old married couple and gestures of affection like this are old hat no sweat dave definitely wont feel overwhelmed when he wakes up everythingll be cool

TG: boy was he wrong

TT: I imagine you proceeded to make a complete ass of yourself.

TG: you know me rose always going that extra mile to ruin good shit thats the strider brand™ fuck up anything even remotely good in our lives until were completely alone and miserable bro taught me well chip off the old block

TT: You are nothing like your brother, and you know that. Nothing that you have done, are doing, or will do will ever make you resemble him even a modicum amount because of the simple fact that he's an unrepentant piece of shit with no redeeming qualities, something you could never be even in your lowest moments.

TG: thanks rose i needed that

TT: Anytime, brother.

TT: Now what did you do?

TG: i jumped off of him like my ass was on fire his words not mine

TG: then yes i proceeded to make a complete ass of myself

TG: i might have slipped in a few no homos implied he was after my alien dick fucking even went all out and its not you its med him

TG: he uh

TG: he wasnt impressed naturally got pretty mad especially when i spent like five minutes trash talking quadrants like how would i even fit in there how would that work stuff like that

TG: he insisted he wasnt hitting on me and fuck me for thinking he would when i was literally unconscious

TG: i said something stupid like woah now were moving way too fast havent even asked me on a date yet like a grade a fool

TG: then he said he wouldnt date me if i were the last living organism this side of hyperspace and it was the only way to repopulate either of our dead planets like hed rather kill off both our species than be with me

TG: instead of taking the fucking hint i started in on shit like how would we even repopulate anything anyway when im pretty sure neither of us can get pregnant

TG: he stormed out

TG: i went to hide in my room messaged you for help here we are

TG: whats my prognosis doc

TT: You fucked up.

TG: this has been established

TT: But not irreparably.

TG: thats optimistic

TG: did you skim through that last part cmon rose thats the most important part you cant just speed read

TT: I assure you I read it thoroughly.

TT: I can also assure you that you can fix this.

TG: oh yeah how

TT: Talk to him.

TG: uh im seriously suspecting you didnt actually read what i wrote because if you did youll recall karkat is extremely pissed at me

TG: i mean you said you saw him right he was even more steamed than usual he definitely doesnt want to talk to me

TG: now or ever probably and i wouldnt blame him

TT: Your penchant for dramatics is as always amusing, but set them aside for now and answer me honestly.

TT: Do you like like Karkat?

TG: that was a real fucking curve ball rose asking me to be serious then breaking out fucking like like is this preschool am i five years old what is happening

TT: I considered bringing out the big guns, but as you're clearly already experiencing a sexuality crisis, I figured I'd use small words.

TT: It's a simple question, Dave.

TG: fuck alright

TG: of course i like like him

TG: apparently its written on my fucking forehead in all caps since literally everyone saw it before me

TG: been hinting at it since day one now im in on it im in the loop and now suddenly i have to say it like we dont all already know

TG: of fucking course i like like him hes my best friend and hes cute and hes funny and he likes spending time with me for some godforsaken reason

TG: and i fucking told him its not you its me

TG: the worst part is that its true it is me im the one with a million fucking hangups im the reason we cant just say hey i like you you like me lets date

TG: because of a society that doesnt even fucking exist anymore or have any hold over me

TG: except it does because when i woke up and karkat had his hand on my shoulder and i sat up and looked at him faking irritation at me and trying not to smile but he was so clearly and obviously happy dude cant hide shit

TG: i looked at him and wanted to kiss him so badly it actually physically hurt me

TG: and then i thought about what bro would think or john or fuck the old man who lived down the hall who i literally dont give a shit about except in this one context apparently

TG: and i felt so ashamed and sick to my stomach and kind of angry honestly and i just wanted to get away and it all came out like bile at the one person who absolutely did not deserve to get shit on

TG: out of everyone on this goddamn hunk of rock karkat is the last person who needs any more shit thrown at him hes already been through so much fuck

TT: I know how you feel, Dave.

TT: I never fucked up quite that badly, but I have also had my struggles with internalized homophobia in the past. I simply came to terms with it sooner because I had a parent who I knew would support me unconditionally even despite my embarrassing misinterpretations of her intentions in other areas.

TT: You were never able to explore other options and that you still feel beholden to our homophobic society is no fault of your own.

TT: All it will take to shake that conditioning is realizing you are free to be whoever you want to be now, and no one will judge you for it. And even if they do, it doesn't matter.

TT: Such is not an easy task, but I truly do believe you will overcome this. You've already come so far.

TT: Thirteen year old Dave would never have been comfortable admitting he was anything other than one hundred percent heterosexual, much less allow himself to be emotionally vulnerable with me without fifteen layers of irony coating every turn of phrase.

TT: If you'll allow me to drop my own pretense for a moment, I would like you to know how incredibly proud I am of the current you.

TT: You're safe here, and it brings me great joy to see you begin to realize that too.

TG: shit rose i didnt come here for you to make me cry you could have warned me damn

TT: I warned you, bro.

TG: haha you did

TG: but

TG: thank you

TG: and im proud of you too you know like youre definitely a lot more open and less suspicious of genuine sentiments than you used be and its a definite improvement

TG: not like you werent great already but you definitely seem way better now

TG: im really glad youve got kanaya she makes you so obviously happy that sometimes in the right light it looks like youre actually smiling instead of that smirky half smile you always do

TG: kanayas the vampire but you glow too when youre with her and its great

TT: Thank you, Dave. I am happier now, but it's not entirely thanks to my hot alien girlfriend. Give yourself some credit.

TT: If nothing else, it's nice not being the only human on this meteor.

TG: can you imagine thatd be a nightmare

TG: yeah ill throw an extra thanks back at you for not leaving me here alone youre a real g miss lalonde a triple og

TT: Back to the matter at hand, your relationship with Karkat is still salvageable. I promise.

TT: I would even go so far as to say I pinky promise.

TG: damn thats legit shit the real deal you really wanna lose a pinky to this you sure

TT: I am hella sure.

TT: Talk to him. He's just as upset as you are but with the added bonus of having been summarily rejected by his best friend for what will appear to him to be no reason at all.

TT: Or worse, he's likely already come up with dozens of reasons you wouldn't even entertain the thought of dating him. That is, if my observation of his tendency toward self-loathing is correct.

TG: fuck

TG: damn it youre right hes probably beating himself up to hell and back about being fucking ugly and unworthy of love or something

TG: which is such bullshit but its my fault

TG: shit rose what do i do i probably just confirmed every bad thought hes ever had about himself fuck

TT: Talk. To. Him.

TT: You're the only one who can convince him he's wrong on all accounts right now, so stop your self-flagellation and go get your man.

TG: shit youre right i gotta go

TG: thanks for everything rose although i cant believe you said go get your man are we in a fucking romcom

TG: whatever i appreciate it but lets go back to snarking at each other next time we talk this was getting way too sappy what are we the harley egberts

TT: I shudder to think it.

TT: Good luck with your romantic endeavors, Dave.

\-- turntechGodhead [TT] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written either of these characters before, but man was this fun. 
> 
> Idk if he's in character, but I could ramble as Dave for hours.
> 
> Also memes from well past 2009 were used, for which I feel no shame at all. They work, okay??
> 
> Oh and I've binged so much DaveKat these last few weeks that I can't really remember which one it was, but shout out to that fic that cleverly inserted Lose Yourself in their Dave and Karkat dialogue. It struck me as hilarious, and so I added a lil homage to it here.
> 
> Anyway, please let me know what you think! This is a two parter, and the conclusion (which will heavily feature one prickly boi) will be up sometime in the next few days probably. ;)


End file.
